Coach

				   By: W. Sautter
					  2010

Preface	

	“Coach” takes place in a small, rural town in mid the nineteen fifties. It is the story of the town, the high school football coach and his players. 
	As was with most small towns of that time, Highburg was its own little world. Everyone knew everyone else and they all knew Coach.
	Coach Carter has been at Highburg High for many years and has built a legendary program. His teams never fail to reach the heights of success, year after year. He has molded star players out of farm boys and has sent many on to notable college careers.
	The town’s people and his players idolize Coach. The opportunity to have played for Highburg and Coach Carter is savored by all who have done so.  To be a football player for Coach is the ambition of every Highburg boy.  It is worn as a lifetime mark of honor. It insures respect in the eyes of all.
The story begins in the nineteen fifty-six. It was a time when World War II was a recent memory for most and the Korean War had just ended. Civil rights were yet to be claimed by American minorities and communications were primitive by today’s standards. Authority figures at all levels stood tall and endured little, if any, questioning, criticism or confrontation.
	Television was in its infancy and entered each home as a small, fuzzy black and white picture on huge, unreliable machine. Touch-tone dialing was the latest telephone innovation and mobile phones were nonexistent. Radios were often plagued by static and poor reception. Portable radios were large, heavy and not easily carried in spite of their being sold as “portable” and recording devices were rare. Local communication relied primarily on newspapers and word of mouth. Rumors were relentlessly conveyed, either correctly or incorrectly, over backyard fences or at the town watering holes.
	Thus is the setting of Highburg, its inhabitants and the story of “Coach”.

	 As is the case with most writers, “Coach” incorporates some personal experiences of the author. The characters are all fictional, however many are based on real people. Actions and incidents contained in “Coach” are also fictional, but again frequently based on actual occurrences.
	As you read, please remember that the language and biases in the book reflect those of rural, small town America in nineteen the fifties. In no way do they portray the views of the author himself.
	Thanks for reading “Coach” and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Coach 

“Holy shit!” I thought to myself over and over through my deep, labored gulps of air. My lungs and throat were burning as I felt my chest rise and collapse with rapid cadence. My legs ached and I could feel the stream of sweat pour down the small of my back as I ran.
“God damn! It sure wasn’t my fault.
Shit! I sat the bench for the whole fucking game!”
It made no difference. Up and down the field we raced, full speed, in response to the shrieks of Coach’s whistle. 
In the background, chanted the spectators who remained, flailing their arms and posing gestures of ridicule as they shouted.
“You losers!”
“You’re a disgrace to everyone in Highburg.”
“My grandmother could have played better!”
Coach stood stoically by the sideline, chewing incessantly on his half lit cigar, and all the while barking commands at us, his defeated players.
We ran and ran. An hour of wind sprints on the victor’s field while our hometown fans continued booing and catcalling from the stands.
How did it all happen? 
Well, here’s the story.
Our team had remained unbeaten for years. The streak was legendary in Highburg. It lasted seventy-two straight games.
Today was our first loss in five seasons and I through no fault of my own, I had become part it. The date was October tenth, the third game of the season and the first day of deer season. Hunting was a big deal in the rural town of Highburg. During the season, kids regularly brought their shotguns to school and kept them in their lockers so they could go hunting immediately after school. Football players couldn’t; they went directly to practice when the school day ended. As a result most of the team hunted at every other possible opportunity. 
Today’s game against Burton High was predicted to be a usual pushover. The only players eager to participate in the game were those on the second team. They thought themselves assured of ample playing time. The score would likely be at least thirty to nothing before the second half and then the JVs would get their turn through the rest of the game.
Well, things didn’t work that way. Exhausted from the morning hunt, our best players arrived at the field house and struggled to even pack their equipment before the ride to the field of the opposing team. 
At the conclusion of the game we had endured a stunning thirteen to seven loss!
The anger of the town persisted well into the weeks after our post game torment.
For weeks, the town’s people shunned us. Adults would routinely turn their backs as they passed us on the street. Several of the players received beating from their parents. We had sullied the town and all of its inhabitants! We had stabbed a knife into the heart and spirit of the community.
Let me introduce myself and my friends who are part of my story. My name is John Crane, they call me Beamy. In my day every kid had a nickname and Beamy was mine and I was thankful for it. Some of the names were far from benign and Beamy was certainly not even close to the worst. The source of many was easily discernable, others not so obvious.
It was the fifties and the War was a very recent memory. One day, one of the guys decided that Bart Craig, a friend of mine, who wore heavy black-rimmed glasses and squinted frequently, looked Japanese. His chronic squinting was probably the result of the lens prescription becoming too weak and his parents could not afford new ones. As a result of his supposed oriental look, Bart was dubbed Tojo.
My friend Larry’s overweight brother, Ronnie was named “Lard”, short for “Lard Ass” and Larry himself didn’t escape the nickname curse. He was “Stinky”. Stinky was constantly pulling at the seat of his pants, why I’m not sure but it earned him the title Stinky. In retrospect, Stinky’s family like most, was poor and it was likely he had out grown his underwear thereby giving him constant wedgies. That’s my best guess anyway but in any case he was burdened with “Stinky” throughout his boyhood years. Then too, there was Frankie Albo, a.k.a., “Banana Nose”. I don’t think I need to explain this one.
“Johnny Cromag” was one of the best nicknames. Johnny Freed had a pet crow. It was huge, about the size of a full grown chicken. Everywhere Johnny went he took the crow. The crow had a name but I can’t really remember it. 
Well, anyway, Johnny always wore a black leather jacket and carried the crow on his shoulder. He looked great coming at you, tall, slim, shoulders back, the black leather glistening in the sun and the crow perched regally on his left shoulder. As he passed, a less august sight came into view. The back of Johnny’s shiny, black leather jacket was streaked with streams of white crow shit from the shoulder to the waist.
One of the guys was in Latin I. He was the only one of us with the kind of grades that qualified him to take Latin. Of course, he thereby became a Latin scholar in our eyes and who were we to question his authority in the arcane intricacies of that ancient language. So when he told us that “Cromag” was Latin for “big crow shit”, who amongst us could challenge him.  None, that was for sure and thus “Johnny Cromag” was born. 
Why was I Beamy? 
 It arose from the time that I walked across the rotted rafters of the old mill down by the river. The mill had long since been abandoned and it was a favorite playground for many of the town’s kids. The outer shell of the building was barely standing and inside, many of the floorboards of the three levels were missing or weakened by age.  Below, through the wide gaps, could be seen the racing water which once powered the mill wheel.
Tag was the game of choice at the mill. Many hours were spent climbing from one precarious landing to the next. During one such adventure, while my being “it”, I spied Jackie Strawbridge on the same floor as me with a gap of several missing boards between us. 
Impulsively, I ran towards Jackie across a narrow rotted rafter, which separated us. As I reached the other side I heard the sound of the falling timber splashing into the raceway waters thirty feet below.
Every kid in the mill that day froze, looking downward, as the wooden fragments were sweep away by the turbulent rush.  All were simultaneously struck with the reality of the dangers the mill possessed. That was the last day we ever played at the old mill and the day I became Beamy.
Well, anyway, I’ve got more of a story to tell. Let me go back to the very beginning.
I was born in the forties, the exact year, well forty-three. My father was elderly, sixty-four, when I arrived. I guess I was his last chance to carry on his DNA although I don’t think he actually realized that was what was happening. DNA hadn’t even been discovered yet! I’m sure it was just primitive biological urges that prevailed.
My mother was over twenty years his junior but certainly not young. She was in her early forties. 
The reason that I’m telling you this is to help explain what happened next. 
When I was four, my father, much to the dismay of my mother, decided that we would move to our country home to live full time. Let me define “country home”. A two room shack, set off the nearest dirty road by a quarter mile or so, with no electricity, running water or indoor plumbing. Our water source was a spring about fifty yards from the house. I can still see my mother carrying pails of water to the house.
Why this decision was made, I’ll never know but I truly believe it was a sign of the onset of dementia. Why my mother went along with this scheme, again, I’ll never know why. I never asked and she never offered a reason for her cooperation with this absurd plan. I guess, I can only surmise, that in those days women generally did what they were told by their husbands and she acted accordingly.
Well, we moved, lock, stock and barrel to our “country home” and lived as if we were existing in the nineteenth century. We did so for the next for seven years. During this time, we went to a small, nearby town, Highburg, for our weekly shopping. It was always on a Saturday. My mother would go to the food store for the groceries, I would be given twenty cents for the movie matinee and my father would park himself on a bar stool at Tiny’s.
 Once the shopping was completed and the movie ended we would all meet at Tiny’s and spend the remain two hours of the afternoon with my father getting loaded while watching professional wrestling on the bar’s small, snowy TV. Then we would pile into the car, a fifty Ford with a shimmy in the front end, and zigzag the ten miles back to the “Lilac Inn”. There was a lilac bush down by the outhouse and so that was my father’s name for our hovel.
I attended the local public school, beginning in first grade.  When I say local school I may be exaggerating. It was seven miles away. Each morning, three other children from the nearby farm and I would walk out to the dirty road and board a school bus for the hour journey to the school.
The school itself was as tough a place as was the hick burg that contained it. Two, locally notorious families, their legitimate children and the more prevalent illegitimate offspring populated the town. It was hard to tell which group was dumber or more pugnacious than the other.
Needless to say, school life was a survival experience. Recess was like the yard at Attica. I began to think fighting was a school subject like reading and arithmetic because it occurred as part of the daily routine. 
Well, after three years of torn shirts, scrapes and bloody noses it was decided that I give up hand to hand combat and attend parochial school. So, after about three years into my father’s country living experiment, I was transferred from my local school and enrolled in the parochial school at Highburg.
It was here that I first learned about football. Most of the kids in my class were crazy for the game. Most all of them played what they inappropriately called “Midget Football”. To be honest, I never really met any midgets and I guess the true midgets began to protest the term, so today it’s Little League Football.
After two years of the daily ten mile commute to my new school, I think my father became weary of the back and forth shuttle to town and decided that we would give up our ‘back to nature’ existence and move to town. 
My parents bought a lot on the edge of town and my father began to build our permanent home there while we lived on Main Street.
 We moved into a small, two-room apartment, which was really a converted office space, above a cleaner’s shop. It was cramped quarters to say the least, even tighter than our country house but – it had electricity, indoor plumbing and maybe, maybe TV!
For me it was a dream come true. Electricity, indoor plumbing and even television! I could hardly wait.
Then, it finally happened. I can still remember seeing my first show on “my TV” - Rocky Mariano in a fifteen rounder. I was transfixed in front of the set, staring intently at every black and white pixel of every second. Even the Gillette commercials held me awestruck.
It was during that first few weeks of living in town that I began to really understand my classmate’s fascination with football. I discovered their enthusiasm for the sport to be well justified. 
The town itself was football insane. The high school team was revered, as was its coach. Good players, of which there were many, were cast as local deities. The team had earned a litany of successful campaigns, undefeated seasons and state titles.
Several of the boys who had graduated, played for big name colleges and one had even made it to the pros. 
“Coach” as he was called had been at the school for twenty-five years and never experienced a losing season, not even close. The loss of even one game was viewed as a catastrophic event by the town folk and rarely did such a catastrophe occur. 
Coach ran a tight ship. Both practice sessions and punishments for poor play were the stuff of local lore. 
The incident of a star halfback who was disciplined for finding the wrong hole in two successive carries during a practice session was repeated many times over the years. The punishment - “take a lap” - Coach commanded.  After forty laps and ten miles, with full equipment in the September heat, the punishment ended. That story was often told and served as a strong deterrent to poor performance.
Coach was the only Physical Education Teacher in the school. During football season and sometimes even after the season, PE, if you were on the team, was comprised of watching game movies in Coach’s office. 
Coach’s grading system for PE was simple and unique. Played football, A, played any other sport B, came to class and caused no trouble C, caused any disruption F. There it was, simple and efficient. 
It was just like his coaching philosophy, no frills. The game was blocking, tackling and hardnosed play, those were the only things that mattered in achieving success.
In 1953 the town took up a collection and bought Coach a brand new Cadillac. I can still see it in my mind’s eye. Gray with a gray interior, modified fins and the large, tooth-like chrome grille and Coach behind the wheel, cigar clinched tightly, driving up to the field house to begin the day’s practice session.
Well, in any event, this is the environment into which I was cast when I arrived at my first day of football practice as a freshman in September of 1956. I was being given the opportunity to play on the same team as the town’s heroes and I was thrilled to say the least.
It was here that I met a kid with whom I would remain friendly throughout my high school days, Ricky White. Ricky and I and another boy, Bart Craig, a.k.a Tojo, whom I knew from grade school became friends as we toiled our way through the grueling, two sessions practices of the first September days. 
The torment was both physical and psychological. After a two-hour period, just when the end was anticipated, Coach always seemed to identify a player who performed poorly or a play that was run incorrectly. 
“A team is only as good as its weakest link,” he would announce through the bullhorn, which he carried at each practice. Everyone knew what that meant, practice would be extended for another half hour, at the least. 
Stress was even greater for the freshman. The team trainer frequently used a methanol-laden liniment, which smelled and felt like Ben-Gay. It was customary for upper classmen at the beginning of the season, to get to practice early. They would then scoop fingers full of the irritating salve into the jocks of the unsuspecting freshmen before they arrived. The first day of football was made unforgettable for most Highburg freshman! Needless to say, everyday thereafter, each of us was sure to check all our equipment with the utmost of care before donning our uniform. 
Five punishing days passed, classes began and football was reduced to single, after school torture affairs. Practice began at two thirty every afternoon, long before school was officially dismissed. 
Period eight at Highburg was designated as club period for the entire school and of course we were in the football club thereby allowing for our early release. Eighth period began at two o’clock, providing a half hour to get to the field, dress and be on the practice field by two thirty. Failure to be there at that precise hour was met with series consequences, those being multiple laps or the ‘pit’.
The ‘pit’ as it was notoriously called, was the sawdust filled depression at the far end of the field. It actually was the high jump site for the track team in the spring. 
When one was ordered to the ‘pit’ it meant at least an hour of blocking and tackling, generally two on one. The sawdust was invasive. It crept into every nook; cranny and crack bring its rasping irritation to every part of the body, both public and private.
After a drill in the ‘pit’ it felt as if a hair shirt had been covering the body. It must have been how medieval, penitent monks had suffered.
The school itself, small town stuff; it enrolled less than four hundred kids total. Out of the about two hundred boys in the school, seventy-five of them played football. It was more or less a required subject at Highburg High.
The school building was a one hundred year old structure, which housed the town’s grade school on the first floor and the high school on the second. The basement consisted of the gym, cafeteria and boiler room.
Upper level classmates explained the location of the boiler room to us on the very first day. It was right next to the detention room. Detention required those who were to be incarcerated, be assigned to that room during lunch hour or after school. If one was an athlete, it would be during lunch so as not to miss practice. 
Unfortunately, the warnings of the upper classmen failed to sink in and that location became well known by myself and most all of my friends throughout our years at H.H.S. 
During detention time, silence was to be maintained and only the rhythmic sound of the janitor’s coal shovel was heard as he fed the school’s boiler. There we sat, the heat pouring through the walls from the adjacent room, with sweat dripping while listening to the cadence ticking off the hour of our stay.
Well, anyway, as for football, the days crept forward towards our first game. Then it arrived. To me, it was spectacular. The stands were packed, the band played loudly and the cheerleaders pranced, provocatively about the sidelines as we entered the field. It was the thrill of a lifetime. It was even better than the day in eighth grade, when Nora Simpson let me feel her up in the coat closet. In was grand!
We romped as usual. The score was thirty-five to seven at the half. At the start of the second half the field was a sea of mud. The night before the game the temperature had dropped into the mid twenties and the turf had frozen into a concrete hard surface. Every tackle and every block resulted in bruises and abrasions. 
As the day warmed so did the field turning it into a gooey, slimy quagmire. Bruising and scraping was replaced by twisted ankles and wrenched knees.
 Coach was not one to run up the score. He always said that he didn’t want to discourage kids on the other teams. He had the ultimate respect for any boy who was willing to play the game on any team.  I had seen one game when he purposely sent in the third team on a series of downs so as to let a boy from an opposing team break his school’s scoring record.
At the start of the third quarter he had sent in all of the second team and the score still continued to mount. 
The clock ticked down to the final four-minute mark I saw Granger go down.  My name was called. 
“Crane, in for Granger, forty-eight right on red” Coach barked and waved me onto the field. 
I scurried towards the huddle at top speed. 
“Okay guys. Granger. Coach said forty-eight right on red” I stammered. 
“Jesus Christ, I think he said right” I thought to myself.
In all the excitement I was unsure. All I could do is hope as I ran to the line of scrimmage “Red eighteen, red eighteen! Signals, down, ready, set, hut one, hut two” and the play began. I roared from my starting position straight towards the other skinny fifteen year old on the opposing team. My block was precise, executed just as I had been trained during the four preceding weeks of hell. My man fell to ground as Benny Dragos picked up ten yards.
I walked back to the huddle, relieved that my instructions from Coach had been correct and feeling like Roosevelt Grier on a Sunday afternoon. 
As the game concluded we left the field amidst a flurry of cheers and congratulations. I can still clearly hear the clacking of the metal cleats on the cement floor as we entered the field house and sat down awaiting Coach’s words.
“Well boys, today was a good day. I liked what I saw but don’t get too cocky. We got a bunch of games left and a lot of work to do.
Go home and get some rest and I don’t want to see anybody uptown, hanging around the bowling alley or Snookie’s after ten o’clock.
Now, take a shower and get out of here” and with that he walked into his cubbyhole office and slammed the door behind him.
I, as well as all the others, dutifully obeyed Coach’s command and immediately began to undress and head to the shower room. Once cleaned, I went back to the freshmen dressing area and finished drying myself.
Then, as I began to dress, I suddenly realized, “Where was my other shoe?”
I scurried around the locker room looking for it without success. After ten full minutes of searching a voice called out.
“Is this what you’re looking for Sonny?”
I was Howie Green waving my shoe over his head. Howie was a junior, starting halfback and last year’s leading scorer.
“Come and get it,” he shouted as he continued wave it.
I moved towards him and as I did, he threw it.
“Blue forty-two” he yelled. That was one of our favorite pass plays.
Jake, another junior player, caught it and continued the taunting.
After several minutes of back and forth, Howie took the shoe and threw into a crevice near the ceiling. With that, they both walked down the hall towards the exit, laughing as they left.
I went to the other dressing room, got a chair to stand on so as to retrieve my shoe. It was a struggle but after a few minutes of reaching and stretching I reclaimed it from its hiding place.
I walked down the hall, passed Coach’s office as I left the field house. The door was slightly ajar and I remember hearing Howie’s voice in a low whisper and then Coach’s reply, also in a low whisper. I couldn’t really make out what was being said but I could tell it wasn’t football talk.
Coach’s warning about the bowling alley and Snookie’s, the two favorite hang outs for all of the town’s teenagers, was unnecessary. None of us would be there tonight. 
Our right tackle was Harry Barnes. Everyone called him Zip. Zip was the slowest of the slow. He never placed any better than last in every wind sprint or running drill thus the paradoxical nickname, Zippy. Although slow, he was big, tough and agile, an All-Stater. 
After every win, there were never any losses, Zip’s father always would hold a football party at his house. There was a full keg of beer and the entire team and cheerleaders were invited. Most often, it turned into a drunk fest with guys throwing up in the backyard or lying semi comatose in a corner.
 At one such event, Willie, our star fullback, vomited in the toilet. It was not until the next morning that he realized that his dental plate with his two front teeth had been subsequently flushed into Zip’s septic tank.
Zips lived near the outskirts of town and rarely were there any complaints. Police were called only a few times and when they arrived, they generally had a beer or two with the rest of us and talked over the day’s game. Most of the conversation however usually centered around their playing days at Highburg, the championships they had won and their great respect for Coach and what he had done for the town.
 After they exalted their tales of bygone football prowess, they called back to the station.
“Everything’s okay here Chief. Just a little noise problem. We just had to quiet ‘em down a little.”
Then, they jumped back into the police car and drove off leaving us to continue our drunken escapade.
Monday morning found a dozen players hobbling about the school with injuries sustained on Saturday’s rock hard and bemired playing field.
The pungent odor of “pink stuff” filled the air throughout the school on Monday morning. “Pink stuff” was the concoction of Doctor Haller, the team doctor. Every injury and aliment imaginable was treated with this magical goo.  It was spread on the afflicted area with a tongue depressor in copious amounts and then bandaged with wrappings of white gauze topped with layers of adhesive tape. Most often, its vivid color oozed through; staining the bandages and everything they touched.  Its smell was unmistakable and everyone so mediated was immediately identified by its stringent vapors. Everything from mild scraps to torn ligaments got a slather of the potion. The odd thing about it was that it actually seemed to work. Most of Docs patients returned back to practice within days of the application. Was it a true medical miracle or merely psychosomatic? Who knows but it worked. 
Doctor Haller was known to go on an extended vacation in the spring of every year. He had severe allergies to plant pollen and to escape the torment of the symptoms; he left the area during the days of high pollen count.
The story, which circulated however, was that he actually went to Africa to visit a witchdoctor friend and obtain his yearly supply of “pink stuff”.
Weeks passed and Highburg remained unbeaten as usual. Thanksgiving Day was the culmination. It was a cold, sunny day and the entire town turned out. Every seat in the stands was filled and every inch of the fence surrounding the field was packed five deep. As usual, Coach and his team gave the fans what they were accustomed to, a serious beating of the opposition, forty-two to fourteen. 
At the conclusion of the game, we all herded into the field house amongst the cheers of the wildly enthusiastic crowd.  Once seated, Coach stood before us, granting us almost begrudging praise for another stellar season. At the conclusion of his brief accolades, Howie rose and delivered a short but emotional statement as to how Coach had been the one responsible for our success and without his wisdom and skill we would have been lucky to win but one game. As he finished his exultation, the team stood and applauded excitedly for several minutes. There, for a moment, I felt as if I was one of the Russian Commissars, applauding Stalin and being afraid to be the first one to stop. 
Well, that was it. Football was over for another season. We all left the field house that day feeling both relieved and nostalgic. Relieved that the days of daily grinding practice sessions were over but missing the excited anticipation of the weekly games.
Fall turned to winter and the thoughts of football faded, except for the daily hour of films in Coach’s office during PE. Snow was on the ground and the air was cold. It was hard hanging around Lefty’s Hot Dog Stand as we did during the warm weather since the only seating area was outdoor tables and benches.
In this kind of weather, everybody was forced into Jack’s Bowling Alley or Snookie’s Luncheonette. Several of the guys were pin boys at Jack’s and were always found sitting their nightly vigil at the back of the allies waiting to be called to set a game. The going rate was fifteen cents a game. When one got to set two allies with four bowlers on each, big money was to be made. It could add up rapidly, with tips, sometimes three or four dollars for a nights’ work.
If you were on Jack’s good side you could even work the Leagues. Now we were talking five dollars or more.
The guys who were the hang arounds, were usually found crowded around the town’s sole pinball machine at the corner of Jack’s lobby. They all gazed incessantly at the silver ball under the glass as the player attempted to “rack up” games on the machine. The machine awarded free replays for exceptional scores and every player sought to register as many replays as possible. 
Replays allowed the current player domination of the machine while the others were forced to continue watching. Even better, those with high scoring ability could sell the remaining free plays to the highest bidder when they became tired of the game. There were always willing customers. The going rate for pinball was a nickel a game however replays could often be had for two or three cents bid. 
Players would push and shove the machine, left, right, back and forth to put “english” on the ball without invoking the fateful “tilt” sign. Whenever the “tilt” appeared a roar would arise from fans and a plethora of curses from the player. 
Many players went to extremes in their attempts to obtain free pinball, often carefully placing the legs of the machine on the tops of their shoes so as to level the machine without “tilting”. Others simply, day after day, used a pen knife to surreptitiously, bore a small hole in the side of the machine so as to insert a wire against one of the bumpers and rack up the score. Still other resorted using a wire through the coin return to trigger instant replays.
Jack himself was an old man and paid little attention to the machine or its eager crowd so he rarely noticed the holes gnawed into its walls. That discovery was left to the repairman who came once every other month or so. As soon as he alerted Jack to the tactics used by the assault of pinballers, Jack would screw a small metal plate over the hole. He would then unplug the machine for a week as punishment for the violator and non-violators alike. After years of repair the machine bore dozens of these plates along its sides, each one covering a tiny entry into the machine’s internals. I never understood why he didn’t just cover the entire side with a large piece of metal but I certainly wasn’t about to suggest it either.
During these periods of withdrawal, when the machine was unplugged, Snookie’s Luncheonette became unusually crowded, not with paying customers but with teenage hang-arounds exiled from Jack’s.  Most sat around playing matchbook football on the tables near the front window waiting for the day when the machine at Jack’s would be reenergized. 
Snookie was an older woman who ran her business right next to Jack’s Bowling Alley. Her trade was generally takeout. The bowlers would order hamburgers, sandwiches and the like during their play and carry them into the alleys. Aside from this, business was thin. I often wondered how she paid the light bill.
Well anyway, there we sat hour after hour engaged in our mindless pass time while volumes of unattended to schoolwork accumulated. 
Needless to say, all these activities fell out of the purview of my mother. As I have always said, “If I would have gone to the library even half the times that I claimed, I would surely have become president of Yale University”. 
The town library itself was a one-story building, the size of a small gymnasium. It housed on the order of five hundred to a thousand books at most. I am quite sure that my mother must have believed that I had read all them, at least twice, based on the number of my supposed visits. 
The only thing that possibly could have given my deception away was the reek of cigarette smoke that followed me everywhere after my trips to the “library”. The foul stench completely enveloped me. It arose from my own use of the “devil’s weed” and from the heavily laden air that constantly surrounded me.
In those days, tobacco smoke was an acrid perfume found in every nook and cranny. 
Went for a haircut at Dee’s Barber Shop – Dee was smoking as he cut your hair.
Went to Dan’s Diner – the cook was smoking as he worked the grill.
Went to Manley’s Army Navy Store – Mr. Manley was smoking while he fitted your new Keds.
I was surprised that Father O’Brien wasn’t smoking as he said Sunday Mass, although I did see him puffing outside the door of the sacristy just before and after service on many occasions.
Smoking was everywhere. So, knowing that my mother had never been to the town library, when I was questioned about the odors, which I was emitting, I promptly replied that the librarian was a smoker too! 
Often, the boredom of Snookie’s and Jack’s became unbearable. This was especially true when another pinballer was having an extremely successful run and your chances of claiming the machine were slim or when the bowling leagues were on their summer break. During those times, pinsetters were only needed by a few transient bowlers and Abe, the head pin boy and his brother got the jobs. 
The tedium most often lead a vigil where Main Street was continually surveyed for the sight of Moose and his forty-nine Merc or even Flash in his brand new, light green, two toned, fifty-eight Chevy. Sighting either might ensure the opportunity to “cruise” for the rest of the evening.
Cruising held numerous advantages. Firstly, it was a search for adventure. One could travel far and wide, well two or three miles, looking for action. Action usually meant repeatedly riding up and down the half mile long Main Street for the entire night or until Moose noticed the gas gauge approaching zero. Another great part of cruising was the car radio playing. You got to hear the “top ten” over and over and over. On a hot summer night, the breeze from the cranked out vent window was the closest thing to air conditioning that one could get unless you had the forty-cents for the Strand.  The Strand Movie Theater was the only movie in town and it always played the same feature for at least two consecutive weeks. So, even if you had the money, and we didn’t, it wasn’t a good air conditioning option until the new feature came to town.
Cruising during the week was cool but the weekends were the best. It frequently involved the search for a twenty-one year old or someone with a good fake ID. It meant the action could include booze. If the quest for a buyer proved fruitless we could always fall back on Floyd.
Floyd was one of the town “queers”, as we called them then. The more appropriate term of course is homosexual or in Floyd’s case probably child molester. It was well known that he had had encounters with several of the kids in town. Everyone knew Floyd’s reputation and avoided him at all cost, except of course when another of age person couldn’t be found.
Floyd was easily cajoled by the promise of a future encounter with one of us. To my knowledge the promises were never kept but that never seemed to stop Floyd from continuing to serve our requests. I suppose, “Hope springs eternal” must have been Floyd’s motto.
“Hey, here comes Moose!” Stinky yelled as he peered out through Snookie’s grease laden front window.
We all raced out to the sidewalk to flag him down. He pulled to the curb and poked his head out of the car window.
“Hop in!”
“Front shotgun” yelled Stinky.
“Rear left!” I yelled.
“Rear right!” came immediately from Tojo.
Everyone, all five, piled into the car. 
“Looks like you two got the squeeze play” Moose said addressing C-Man and Boogie, who failed to call their spots quickly enough.
The car doors slammed. Moose sat silently and the car stood still. Ten seconds passed and not a word or motion occurred.
“What the fucks with you guys?” Moose announced.
No one said a word but everyone knew.
“Gas money! Let’s go.
Shotguns, it’s a quarter each. Squeezers twenty. 
Do I have ta ask ya every fuckin’ time?
You should know by now. I can’t run this thing on piss.”
“Why can’t we just go up to Littleton and gas up there?” I suggested hoping to avoid paying.
Littleton was the next small town to the north of Highburg. It housed about five hundred citizens and the township’s gas pump with a broken lock. It was common knowledge with most of Highburg’s teenage drivers, that for the past three months, a nighttime visit to Littleton meant free gas.
“Aint working no more” piped C-Man.
“Didn’t ya hear about what happened to Hooky the other night?”
“No! What?” I replied.
“Well, he went up and gassed up like usual and then all of a sudden his car started runnin’ real shitty and all kinds of black smoke came out of the exhaust. About three miles down the road the cops got him. They saw all the smoke.
 What happened is that they put some kerosene in the tank and then waited for some body to fill up. Then all they had ta do was look for the smoker. His father had to go and get him outta jail. Cost him seventy-five dollars and his old man beat the shit outta him.”
With that, we all reached into our pockets and extracted the requested tolls.
Moose was stupid but not that stupid, not when it came to gas money. Moose was also big, very big and not the kind of guy any one would want to give any shit. His two favorite pass times were football and fighting. It was hard to tell which he enjoyed the most.
Wednesday nights during the summer were sometimes better than weekend nights. That was the night that the C.Y.O. dances were held in the neighboring town of Crockton. 
Moose would pick everyone up at Snookie’s, seven o’clock sharp, collect the gas money of course, and drive the ten miles to Crockton. 
The dance itself was usually uneventful. The old boys on one side, girls on the other and few brave souls attempting to show off their jitter bugging skills in the center. Only the slow dances yielded a crowded floor with most of the guys trying to chat up the girl hoping for a quick feel in the parking lot after the dance.
Actually, the highlight of the evening happened at about ten thirty when the dance was officially over. It was then that Moose and Frankie Haller met outside behind the building. It happened like clockwork, every Wednesday, without fail. 
Frankie was about five feet nine, one sixty at best. Moose, he was six two, maybe two twenty. In spite of the size differential, Frankie had one big advantage, he was nuts!
That was what allowed him to hang in the fights week after week without actually being killed.
It generally lasted fifteen or twenty action filled minutes with Frankie being pummeled by Moose over and over. Every once in a while Frankie got in a good shot or two but it was only statistics that allowed it to happen. He kept coming and coming until either Moose became bored and walked away or the cops arrived and sent everyone home.
As I said before, Moose had two favorite pass times, they were football and fighting. His older brother, Big Moose had played for Coach at Highburg five years earlier and was recruited by South Carolina. While there, he achieved All-American status but never graduated. In the very last game of his senior year he sustained a permanently crippling injury to his left ankle. He would carry a limp for the rest of his life and never play again. He was given a Certificate of Attendance. Despite his failure to graduate and play in the Pros, Big Moose remained a hero to the town’s people of Highburg and credit to Coach who had bestowed his playing skills upon him.
Moose had two other siblings, Little Moose and Minnie Moose. Little Moose gained his nickname not only for being younger than the others but also for being quite a bit smaller. He never took up the game of football and generally spent most of his time smoking, drinking and being a roust-about.
His failure to play football was an embarrassment to both Big Moose and Moose and they openly mocked him for it. Apparently their mockery had little effect because Little Moose never did don the Red and Black of Highburg High.
Minnie Moose was the big sister of the Moose family. She bore the tough, dykish appearance of a man complete with broad shoulder, large stature and sporadic facial hair. In spite of her guise she was actually quite amiable and far more intelligent than the rest of the Moose clan.
Out of the four, Albert, that was Moose’s real name, was probably the dumbest although in retrospect he might have been a trendsetter. 
During every huddle, he could be seen removing his helmet. The reason being that inside was taped a list of his assignment for each play. Actually, we only ran about a dozen plays or so, but Moose was unable to recall them without constant referral to the list. Today players wear wristbands citing their assignments. I still wonder to this day if Moose might have been its inspiration?

				Chapter 2

It was a chilly fall evening, Friday, October thirtieth to be precise, “Mischief Night”. All the guys were out in front of Snookie’s intently looking for Flash to drive by. 
Hiking a ride with the Moose was out of the question. We hadn’t seen him riding around town for over a week. He had broken his leg in the game against Johnsville. Of course, to our disappointment it was his right leg, making it very difficult for him to operate the gas pedal. That probably meant no Moose Mobile for at least another four more weeks, until he was out of the cast. In the meantime, Flash was the only game in town.
Flash was an older guy, maybe thirty or so, who often hung around Jack’s with the younger kids. He was a short man with curly red hair and a pock marked face. It was rumored that he was homosexual but I never met anyone claiming to have been solicited by him. It was most likely that he was a bit immature and just felt more comfortable with the younger crowd, but who knows?
Anyway, Flash was always around and always willing to drive us around town for the entire evening and, unlike Moose, not even attempting to shake down us for gas money. 
One of the problems when riding with Flash was the source of his nickname. He drove ever so slowly. Top speed was twenty miles per hour on the open road. The car was a stick shift and rarely taken out of second gear. A shift into third resulted in bucking and stalling because of his painfully slow speed and when that happened he instantly shifted back into second.
In addition to that, the rumor of his homosexual tendencies, whether true or untrue, always resulted in the relentless teasing of those seen riding with him.
But, as my mother used to say, “Any port in a storm”, and when Flash pulled up that evening three of us piled in!
“Hey, Flash, how about we go over to Henderson Town and pick up Ricky?” I asked.
Henderson Town was about four to the east of Highburg. It was a “colored” town as we used to call it, populated almost exclusively by African Americans.
“Aint so sure I want no black folks bein’ seen ridin’ with me. I don’t really mind but I’m kinda worried about what people are gonna say, you know what I mean?” 
“Awe, come on Ricky's a cool guy. He’s no city Negro. He’s one of our guys. He’s on the team ya know. He’s a football player like us” I replied.
“Yeah, pretty good too!” came from Boogie in the back seat.
“You know the black halfback from Waring, he’s probably gonna be better than him before he’s done” chimed in Tojo.
“How come I aint never seen him play?” asked Flash.
“He’s only a sophomore like us,” I answered knowing full well that was not the real reason.
Ricky had more talent than most all the starters on the team but of course, one major flaw - black skin. Coach never came right and said it but everybody knew that Ricky was never going to play any varsity football at Highburg. The only chance he had was if Coach absolutely needed his talent to finish an undefeated season. At this point it didn’t look as though that would happen. We had already won the first four games by thirty-five points and there were no really tough games on the horizon for the rest of the season.
I don’t think Coach’s unwillingness to play Ricky came from bigotry, not his own personal bigotry anyway. It came from Highburg itself. He probably felt that the town would be affronted by the presence of a black player on the Highburg football team despite his talent. There had never been one and Coach wasn’t going to be the first to have one. Looking back, he probably assessed the town’s mentality exactly right.
“Well, okay but when we come back to town he’s gotta slide down so everybody don’t see him when we go down Main Street” agreed Flash.
So off we went towards Henderson at a snail’s pace with the engine revving in second gear all the way. We finally arrived at Ricky’s house and Flash blew the horn. Ricky emerged from the house, donning his well-worn, brown and orange, Cleveland Browns hat. That hat was part of him, part of his persona. He wore it religiously, as a visible tribute to Jim Brown, his black hero. He had followed his career right from its beginnings at Syracuse, on through to the pros at Cleveland.
He knew everything about Jim Brown and the Cleveland Browns right down to their shoes sizes. When the Browns played on TV the telephone was of the hook at Ricky’s house. He sat transfixed by every play, especially when Jim had the ball. Whenever they played I knew the conversation of the following day. We would meet by our lockers and pull the required books and papers needed for the school day. 
He would immediately start with “Did ya see the game?”
Then, with total disregard of my reply, he would begin a blow-by-blow description of every last detail of the entire event. Nothing was ever left out, not a single, minute happening.
He wasn’t the best student at Highburg High, far from it and I was always amazed by his powers of recall but only when it came to Cleveland Browns football. For that, his memory paralleled Univac. His narration of the game rivaled that of a Movietone newsreel.  His banter ceased as we entered the first class of the day and then continued between classes, during lunch and until he related the recap of the final play.
Ricky slid into the back seat with Tojo and Boogie and we ground our way, ever so slowly, back to town.
Up and down Main Street we rode, over and over, looking for excitement. Every time we passed the other hang arounds in front of Snookie’s and Jack’s, Ricky crouched down as he was instructed while the rest of us endured their shouted jeers for riding with the Flasher.  All of us, as if in one coordinated motion then, flipped them the finger as we rolled by.
“You know I’m getting’ sick of this shit!” Ricky suddenly announced from the rear seat.
“This is boring as shit!
Let’s have some real fun!”
“Like what?” I replied
“Nothings goin’ on, nowhere” I added.
“Tonight’s Mischief Night and we aint done no mischief at all” he replied.
“Like what kind of mischief do you want?
Knockin’ over a couple of garbage cans or pushin’ over Old Pete Pouter’s outhouse again? That aint no fun anymore. We already done that kinda shit last year and the year before that and the year before that” said Boogie in a resigned voice.
“Yeah” added Tojo.
“Same old bullshit. Count me out”.
There was a long silence in the car as we continued our creep down Main Street.
“I got a great idea!
Let’s go up to Coach’s house and soap up his windows. I bet nobody’s ever done nothin’ to Coach’s, ever on Mischief Night!” suggested Ricky excitedly.
There was another long pause. It was as if he had proposed another assassination of Caesar.
“Are you fuckin’ crazy?” blurted Boogie.
“What if we got caught? 
No tellin’ what would happen”.
Silence again.
“I don’t think I’m in for that,” announced Tojo.
“Me neither” added Boogie.
“Pussies!” shouted Ricky.
“You’re all bitchin’ about nothin’ to do and I come up with this great fun idea and you guys chicken out right away.
Pussies” shouted Ricky again.
“Maybe we’re pussies but we aint crazy. If you guys are really gonna do it, drop me off by Jack’s” replied Tojo.
“Me too”, said Boogie.
After a brief quiet, “What about you?” Ricky said to me.
I knew the whole idea was probably foolish but what fun it would be to know that we had the guts to actually do it. If we did it, Coach would be pissed and probably address the team about it before the next practice. That would surely elevate our reputation to “the kids with the biggest balls in town”. This could be an opportunity to earn the respect and deference of all our peers in Highburg.
“Yeah! Count me in Ricky. I’m no pussy,” I said as I turned towards the back seat and looked straight at Boogie and Tojo.
“Flash, will you drop these two pussies off and drive Ricky and me up by Coach’s house?” I added emphatically.
“Sure, but I aint waitin’ for you guys. You’ll have to walk back!” he replied.
With that, we dropped off Boogie and Tojo at Jack’s and then stopped at Pete’s Minimart to pick up the soap. Ricky emerged with the soap and a half dozen eggs too just in case we got really gutsy. 
We drove to Coach’s house at the outskirts of town. Flash parked about two hundred yards down the road from the driveway. He wanted to be sure no one spotted him and linked him to the travesty that was about to occur.
“Don’t you guys ever tell nobody that I drove you up here, ya know what I mean” he said as Ricky and I exited the car.
“Never” I replied.
We stealthily crept back up the road towards the driveway as Flash’s taillights receded into the darkness. We moved across the lawn to the side of the building being careful to stay in the shadows cast by the tall pine trees in the moonlight. The house was in complete blackness save the light emanating from one, rear basement window. 
“Beautiful, nobody home.
We can probably get every window in the house,” Ricky whispered. 
We both pulled the bars of soap from our pockets and tiptoed towards Coach’s house. Halfway there, we suddenly heard muffled voices come from the lighted basement window. 
We stopped cold in our tracks. We stood as frozen statues as the sounds continued.
 Ricky silently pointed to the source and then slowly stooped down on all fours. I followed and we both inched up to the window with excited curiously. By the time we got there we were on our bellies pulling ourselves along the ground with elbows and knees army style.
The pane was almost completely frosted with the evening dew however a small portion in the lower left corner remained clear. 
Ricky peered through in. Within seconds he recoiled with a look of horror and slowly rolled to the side of the window opening.
“Holy fuckin’ shit” he mouthed and point to the small transparent opening through which he had been looking.
“Look” he mouth again excitedly waving.
I crawl over and peeked in, excited as to what I might see. After a few seconds, I too recoiled from my viewing point and moved to the other side of the window. I looked at Ricky, with my mouth hung open, unable to speak.
Ricky then moved back to the window for one last look, probably to reconfirm for himself, what we had just seen.
I motioned to him as he pulled away from the opening for a second time and we both crawled back into shadows of the pines. Once there, we arose and carefully walked back across Coach’s lawn and back to the road.
For the first few hundred yards of the journey back to town we said nothing. We walked solemn and mute.
Suddenly, the sound of an approaching car came from behind. Instinctively, we both ran into the brush adjacent to the road and crouched down.
It was a fifty-five Ford. It was hard to be sure but it looked to be a red and white two tone in the dim moonlight. We could hear the pop pop pop of the glass pack muffler as it coasted down the hill passed us.
We turned and looked at each other as we emerged from our roadside hiding.
“Howie!” I said.
“Sure be” replied Ricky.
“Man, I can’t believe what we just saw” I said.
“Me neither.”
“What are we going to do?” I asked hesitating.
“I’m not doin’ nothin’. I’m just pretending that I never saw shit,” Ricky answered.
We continued our two-mile walk towards town. 
The night quiet was again broken by the sound of an on coming car. We immediately recognized it with its broken left headlight and loud muffler. It was Moose. 
He pulled over ahead of us, rolled down the window and tapped the horn.
“What are you guys doin’ out here?” he yelled.
“Come on! Get in!”
“Hey Moose, we thought your leg was all fucked up” I said as we opened the passenger door. Ricky jumped in the back seat; I slid in the front and pulled the door closed. 
“Yeah, it is” he replied.
“But I can still work the gas with my toes. Aint easy but I can do it” and with that he pressed unevenly on the accelerator. The car bucked forward and off we rode.
“So what are you guys doin’ out here?” Moose repeated.
“Nothin’” I exclaimed.
“Nothin’? You walked all the way out here to do nothin’?”
“You know Harry Raines. Somebody said that he hid a case of beer out here by Shady Road and we came out looking’ for it” came Ricky’s replied from the back seat.
“Aint never heard of any Harry Raines,” answered Moose.
“He’s from Henderson. He’s a friend of mine” Ricky responded instantly.
“I don’t see it. Ya didn’t find it?” said Moose.
“No we didn’t. Guess he was just bustin’ balls” Ricky answered.
“I might be doin’ some bustin’ on his face when I see him again” he added emphatically, attempting to make his story even more convincing.
I sat silently, amazed at Ricky’s impromptu. It was a pretty weak story but it certainly seemed to satisfy Moose’s curiosity and that was what counted.
Moose dropped us off at Snookie’s. I exited the car with a sigh of relief. Not only had Moose’s inquisitiveness been erased but also we had arrived back at town safely in spite of his severely limited, broken leg driving skills.
We stood out front and again spied Flash snailing towards us. We flagged him down; eager for the chance to allay any interest he might have in our episode at Coach’s.
“Well boys, how did it go?” he queried.
“Not that good” I replied as we go in his car.
“What do ya mean?”
There was a long pause. I really didn’t know what to say. I certainly wasn’t going to say a word about what had happened.
“Ah, we chickened out!” Ricky blurted.
“Yeah, we lost our balls” I instantaneously added with all the conviction that I could muster.
“But Flash, you’re not gonna tell anybody are ya?”
“No! Not no one” he assured us. 
“Thanks Flash. You’re a real pal not makin’ us look like chicken shit in front of everybody.”
Suddenly, Ricky cried excitedly.
“Holy shit, my hat!”
I turned to see him frantically scouring the back seat, searching for the missing hat.
“Look under the seat” I answered.
“I am” he replied while lying on the car floor and raking his hand back and forth under the front seats.
After several minutes of vain exploration, he sat erect.
“Can’t find it. Musta lost it up by Coach’s.
 I kinda remember puttin’ it in my back pocket so I wouldn’t lose it, but I guess I did” he said dispiritedly.
With that Flash drove Ricky and me home.
I flopped on the bed, fully clothed, staring at the darkened ceiling. The details of the night rolled over and over though my mind. 
Ricky’s words echoed.
“I’m not doin’ nothin’. I’m just pretending that I never saw shit!”
I’m sure he was right. I was just hoping that I could keep it all bottled up inside of me.
 “Who would believe us anyway and even if they did, then what?” I thought.
The ringing of the telephone in the living room startled me out of my trance. 
“John, its Kathy. It’s for you” my mother called down the hall.
Kathy MacIntyre was my girlfriend of about six months. She was in my math class and pretty hot stuff. I never really even thought that I had a chance especially when I saw Howie Green walking her from class to class.
I guess however, either my charm or Howie’s lack of charm sealed the deal because a month after I started talking to her, Howie was nowhere to be seen. I don’t think he took to the situation well. Every time after that, whenever I saw him, he peered back at me with a threatening, “I’d like to kill you”, scowl.
Back in the fifties, girls all wore long, camouflaging skirts but very tight sweaters. Kathy’s sweaters were certainly of high tensile strength. Every fiber was stretched to its elastic limit without tearing. It was a miracle of fifties textile engineering. 
In those days, girls too, had nicknames, most unbeknownst to them. They were generally assigned by the boys and usually used to ascribe a specific physical characteristic or activity. Kathy was known as “Kathy MacTits”. I’m pretty sure it was Stinky that came up with that moniker and in light of the fact that MacDonald’s was unheard of at the time, I’d say it was quite avant-garde. 
Well, in any event, after I started going out with her she was never again referred to by that pseudonym, not in my presence anyway. 
Kathy had many other obvious assets as well. She had a cute rosy face and curly blonde hair, an enticing smile, which exposed her snow-white teeth at every delight and an over supply of hormones.  She had all the things that an adolescent boy could want and even more.
 She knew how to type, fifty words a minute.  That meant my hours of hunt-and-peck term papers were over.
Unfortunately, however, she, like everyone else, also had her flaws, the main one being her father. He was a large man with a commanding presence and outwardly appeared good natured and friendly. 
Do you know how you sometimes get a feeling about someone despite his overt manner? Well, that’s the way it was with me and Mr. MacIntyre.
I just knew that if he ever found out that I had defiled his daughter in any way he would tear out my heart and have it for supper. With that in mind, I knew then that I had but two choices, pussy or life! I chose life!
I took the phone from Mom and she obligingly left me and went into the kitchen.
“Hi Kathy.”
“I thought you were coming over tonight for ‘Night Lab’”, she answered in a terse tone. 
“Night Lab” was term for a smooching workout in her basement. When I first met her we began by doing our bio homework together in cellar. I was pretty good at the science stuff and like I said, she was good with the typewriter so the whole thing started as a symbiotic relationship. After a few nights of homework at the downstairs table we began completing the assignments on the basement sofa. One night while we were finishing up our work on the sofa her father called down the stairs.
“Kathy, how’s everything going down there?”
We both instantly sat up, ramrod straight.
I felt the immediate urge to call back “Everything going just fuckin’ great Dad!” but the thought of instant death kept me silent.
Kathy yelled back, “Fine Dad, we’re just finishing up our biology lab write up.”
Thus the  “Night Lab” term was conceived.
“Why didn’t you come over? You didn’t forget me, did you?” she asked in a kittenish voice.
 I had completely forgotten in the excitement of the evening.
“Well, ah no, I know I didn’t forget. I kinda got involved in something.”
“Something more important than me?” she replied in an equally comely tone.
“No! No!” I stammered, “Of course not.”
“Well, what then?” she replied.
I didn’t know what to say. This could be the opportunity to unburden myself. Should I tell the whole story or just make up a feeble excuse?
“Ricky and me, we” I began and then hesitated.
“We went out, it’s Mischief Night you know,” I continued.
“And you guys were out all night? You musta had a real good time, huh. It must have been great fun to forget all about me. What did you guys do?” she interjected.
“We went to soap some windows,” I answered.
“That’s all? And that keep you out all night?”
“No, not really, there was a lot more” I added in a low voice.
“If I tell you, you can’t tell anybody. Nobody!
You gotta promise.” 
“I promise. I promise,” she answered with strong sincerity.
With that, I burst out with whole sordid tale in one nonstop sentence. It felt like air leaving a balloon as the pressure within me drained with each word. 
I wasn’t sure if it was the smart thing to do but it felt good, a relief from my nagging thoughts, and a release of the internal turmoil.
Kathy said nothing. I felt as if I could almost see her face, startled and perplexed, as I spoke. 
“This isn’t just a story, is it Beamy?” she finally replied in a disbelieving tone.
“Do you really think I would make this kind of thing up?” I answered spontaneously.
“No, I’m sure you wouldn’t but it’s just so hard to believe.”
As I hung up the phone I felt plagued by the uncertainty of my decision to tell Kathy all that I had. 
“Oh well, too late now. It was done,” I thought.
At least I felt better for having told someone, kind of like after you leave the confessional box.

Chapter 3

Monday came much too soon. That afternoon would be practice as usual and we would have to face both Howie and Coach, showing no evidence of our knowledge. We would show no signs of the turmoil within.
Two o’clock finally came and off we went to football, with nervousness and foreboding, that we might do something, or say something, even the slightest thing that reveal our awareness. 
My apprehension was overwhelming. I struggled to remove the entire incident from my mind. I feared that if I thought too intently, my thoughts might be read by the others. Neither Ricky nor I even glanced at Coach or Howie fearful that our expressions might tell a tale. As the practice came to an end, I was at the point of exhaustion, not from the physical rigors but from the emotional drain. 
As the days wore on the pretense became easier although the thoughts of that Friday night never left our minds. Every once in a while when Ricky and I were alone, we would talk about that night and again agree to remain silent.
The Thanksgiving Day game was just around the corner, a week away. The team, as usual, was unbeaten and had won most every game by thirty or more points. Howie was having the season that the dreams of high school football players are built on. Leading scorer in the state, most yards rushing in the illustrious history of Highburg High and several Division I scholarship offers despite his poor academics. All of the town folks agreed that he was on a sure path to meet, or most probably exceed the football legendry of Big Moose. Many went as far as to predict the Pros, even a place at Canton.
It was a hard day of practice, we were worked to the bone even though everyone knew that our final game would most likely be another business as usual thirty point win. We all knew why. Coach was eager to see Howie break the state scoring record and he was doing everything possible to make sure that would happen. That “everything possible” involved us, the second team running full contact defense against the varsity for play after endless play. No huddle was even called between plays. Coach merely barked out a code number known only to the offense as they immediately lined up to inflict the next round of punishment on us.
When it was finally over we all walked back to the locker room. As we walked, Howie’s loud bantering eclipsed everyone’s conversation. He was on the ultimate high anticipating the record-breaking performance that he was sure would come on Thursday.
We entered the locker room and began to undress. Ricky removed his shoulder pads, hung them in his locker and issued a great sigh of fatigue as he did so.
 “What the fuck are you tired about Sambo?” came a shout from the far end of the room.
“You didn’t do shit today. I ran over you like a bulldozer. You didn’t give shit for defense. We shouldn’t even let guys like you on this team.
Not only are you a horseshit player you’re a nigger. You’re lucky we even let you in this locker room with us” he continued vitriolically. 
A stillness spread over the room. Everyone instantly became motionless and mute with a look of astonishment.
Ricky froze too, but only for an instant. Everyone knew that he was not the kind of guy who would take shit from anyone but what happened next was expected by no one.
“You mother fuckin’ queer!” exploded Ricky.
“I know all about you and Coach. I saw you. You two guys blowin’ each other. You’re not only the best football player on the team you’re the best blow job!”
With that Ricky shot towards Howie like a lightning bolt, eyes flashing and fists flying. Within seconds Ricky was on top of Howie who was lying on the concrete floor being hammered by a flurry of punishing lefts and rights. Several team members immediately jumped in and attempted to pull him off.
 Seconds later, with Ricky restrained, Howie lifted himself from his prone position, blood streaming from his nose and silently walked to his locker to continue removing his equipment without so much as a word. The entire team stood agape and then, they too silently turned and continued their undress.
“What are you gonna do now?” I whispered to Ricky as he returned to his locker which was next to mine.
“I’m outta here. I shoulda quit playin’ for these fuckin’ homos right after that night” he whispered back.
I hesitated. Then I replied conclusively
“Me too!”
We both showered and dressed. The room was still silent as the others on the team did likewise.
When we prepared to leave, Ricky gathered his equipment and walked to Coach’s cubbyhole office and knocked. The door opened with Coach standing in the entrance.
Ricky looked Coach straight in the eye and threw the pile of equipment into the office at his feet.
“Done!” he said, turned and walked away.
I myself, lacked his courage. I just left my equipment in the locker and never again went back to practice. 
Coolness enveloped the entire school the following day. The thermometer read seventy-two but the mood was well below freezing. It was unusually quiet in the hallways. Everyone seemed to be speaking in whispers. They all glanced back and forth as they spoke seeming fearful that they might be over heard.
As Ricky and I walked the halls the small groups became silent and parted widely to allow our passage as if to avoid some lethal contamination. It was obvious that news of the confrontation between Ricky and Howie had spread.
Lunchtime finally arrived and we hurried from the building towards Jack’s so as to be the first to claim possession of the pinball machine. This was the usual drill. Everyone raced at lunch break so as to stake his claim. With speed and some luck one could control the machine for the entire lunch period. Luck was required because in order to continue play after the first game only games that were “racked up” were allowed. A loss without additional games being won required one to relinquish, the machine and allowed the next player in line to deposit his nickel and test his pinball skill.
We entered Jack’s and quickly realized that the race had been lost. Several guys were already crowded around, coins in hand, watching Vincy Lombo successfully nudge the machine in submission. The clack – clack of the machine, indicated accumulation replays being racked up in rapid succession.
As we approached, uneasy stares meet us, followed by very unenthusiastic greetings. Within minutes the crowd dissipated. Vincy finished his game and then he too left with five replays remaining. No one said a word, as they ebbed away, except for Vincy who claimed he had to catch up on some homework before lunch was over and that was why he was leaving the replays. Knowing Vincy to be the proud “anchor man” of the class, I was sure his excuse was a guise to justify his leaving our company as quickly as he could. 
We were both sure we knew why we had become the pariahs of Highburg High. There we stood, abandoned, just Ricky and I and the machine with five free games. The games were hardly compensation for ostracism but we played them anyway.
The school day wore on and the chill in the air intensified. It was all about Ricky’s outburst in the locker room. The story had spread throughout the school like the flu. Although, I cowardly had said nothing at the time, when I quit the team with him that day, I tacitly condoned what he had said. I thereby, had become equally guilty and equally shunned as he.
At the end of school, I walked to Kathy’s locker to meet her as usual.
“I can’t see you any more,” said with a dejected voice.
“What do you mean ‘you can’t see me’?” I exclaimed.
She looked downward and spoke.
“Dad said I can’t be with a guy that would lie about Coach like you and your friend, Ricky did. He said he played for Coach and he knows that he would never be any kinda queer like you guys said. 
He called both of you ‘lying little fagots’. He said you two are probably the queers, not Coach.”
“Do you really believe that?” I asked.
“No.” she whispered.
“But I still can’t see you any more” she answered tearfully. She then turned and walked away, out of my life.
So far an attempted Mischief Night prank has cost me all of my friends and my girlfriend.
“What else?’ I thought.
Several days passed and the climate was no friendlier than the first. If anything, there was a greater iciness. The rumor had now made its way through all of Highburg itself.  I could even feel the distain of adults as evidenced by their cold stares as I passed them on the street. I often thought it would have been so much better if I hadn’t gone with Ricky that night. I really couldn’t blame him for his response to Howie but it sure did cause a shit load of trouble for us both.
Maybe what I could do was just get Ricky to tell everyone that what he had said was just a lie and he only said it in anger. He was only trying to reply to Howie’s taunts and none of it was true. Then I would add that I had only quit the team because Ricky was my friend and I was trying to be loyal.
“Sure! That’s what I’ll do and the whole could be smoothed over.
Why should I give a shit about what Coach and Howie do in their spare time anyway? 
Aint really none of my business. If they want to be queers, so be it as long as they aint queerin’ me” I thought.
It was the day before Thanksgiving and school was out for four days. What a relief! 
Four days without anxiety or reduced anxiety anyway!
Of course then too, it was four days with nobody to hang around with. Jack’s was out. So was Snookie’s. I was an outcast at both. 
I was pretty much condemned to stay at home. It became so monotonous that I actually began to do some schoolwork. 
Even my mother asked several times why I wasn’t “going to the library” as usual? 
I simply replied with a wise crack.
“They ran out of books. I read them all” I answered that ended her questioning. I certainly wasn’t about to explain the real reason.
As we left school that day, Ricky and I met in the hallway and walked towards the front door.
“What’s ya doin’ tomorrow?” he asked.
“Probably nothin’” I replied.
“How about we go to the game?” he said.
“Are you nuts?” I quickly blurted.
“No! I wanna see if Howie breaks the record. I sure hope he don’t.
We’ll stand by the far end zone and watch. Hardly nobody ever watches from there. If somebody sees us, so what? All we’re gonna be doin’ is watchin’ the game. No law against that!” explained Ricky.
I hesitated.
“Well, I guess. I’d like to see if he does too.
You hitch a ride over to town tomorrow and I’ll meet ya at about nine o’clock by Snookie’s and we’ll walk down to the field. Game starts at ten.”
“Yeah” he replied, “I think my father might even drive me over. I’ll see ya tomorrow at nine” and with that we left the school.
“Ah, tomorrow will be the perfect opportunity to talk with him about my idea of his retraction. I’ll try to get him to say it was just a lie in the heat of anger,” I thought to myself as I walked home alone.